Wedding Rings

In six days it will have been a year since my husband died. I'm still wearing my wedding rings, with Rick's wedding band on my finger first, then my wedding band and last my engagement ring. Rick's ring is big on my finger but the other rings hold it on.

Sometimes I think about taking the rings off.

I actually took them off for about 48 hours about a month ago. I set them on my nightstand, then proceeded to check on them about 50 times a day. I kept running my fingers over the indentation on my left ring finger the whole time.

The first time I had to leave the house I put them back on and haven't removed them again since then.

I still feel married. In my mind, I am still married. I want to still be married. I want to wake up some morning and find it's been a horrible dream and I am still married to my love.

I can't imagine feeling single anytime soon. Maybe someday I'll feel single instead of feeling married. Maybe someday I'll be ready to take the rings off.

But not yet.